My brain says no but my pants say off.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
