I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
