Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
