im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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