I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
