Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
