I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
