I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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