I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize