Duck Duck Cougar?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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