I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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