hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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