Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
