Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
