Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
