Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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