margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
