you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
