wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Screwed.edu
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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