summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
