No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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