Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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