doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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