what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
