spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
