Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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