Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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