We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
