I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
