I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Randomize
