He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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