plz talk dirty to me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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