You're so nebulous sometimes
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
