So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize