it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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