Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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