he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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