Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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