If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Drunk is not a location!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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