It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
