Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
