she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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