you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
