if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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