Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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