Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
