dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
