3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize