peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
