I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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