he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
