I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
