Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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