His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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