I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
