The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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