he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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