I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
