Sry I called you an 8
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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